Many people are poor listeners but the truth is, If you want to advance your career, academics and build meaningful relationships, you need to listen. If you are a student, listening can make you understand more during lectures during lectures hence study less. If you are an aspiring entrepreneur or professional, listening to business advice can make you grow and if you are in a relationship, listening to your partner can make you understand them better.
When you really listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. Listening is a magnetic force that draws people to us.
I bet all of us have at some point talked to someone and noticed he or she wasn’t really listening to you? How did it make you feel? Unimportant? Disrespected? Insulted? Remember those feelings and work diligently to ensure that people never feel the same way when they talk to you.
In this article I will highlight 5 things I have learned that can assist you in being a good listener.
1. Make Eye Contact and be present—The first step in being a good listener is to make eye contact with people while they are talking. Eye contact creates trust and demonstrates genuine interest in the person speaking as well as the conversation itself. Looking away can make you seem disinterested and disrespectful. Even when you are actually disinterested in what’s being said, always be present. People do notice if we are not really listening. Always focus on the discussion and not allow our minds to wonder. Sometimes in trash, you find a golden watch. So in a boring discussion you might learn something worthwhile.
2. Let others go First—If you start talking at the same time someone else is trying to finish their thought, it’s polite to stop and say, “I’m sorry, please continue” and let them finish. Even if what you have to say is important or it’s an answer to the question they raised, show them your respect by letting them finish. I certainly notice when people allow me to complete my sentences without “over talking” or interrupting. Do you?
3. Care About What’s Being Said—Show that you really care about what is being said. This is a way of showing people that what they say is important and encouraging them on.When part of a meeting a lecture or a group chat, never start a side conversation. It’s very annoying to the speakers when they notice that a group of people isn’t listening to what they are trying to say
4. Don’t Change The Subject—When you are engaged in a conversation, don’t change the subject unless the discussion is finished. I observe people who do this all the time in small group settings, business meetings and social encounters. If you change the subject of a discussion prematurely, you demonstrate a lack of interest in the discussion and indicate that what you have to say is more important.
5. Respond By Asking Questions—When you ask several questions that highlight a new angle during a conversation, you show a sincere interest in the topic. It shows that you are really committed to the objective of the discussion. A few days ago on his twitter page, Apprentice billionaire Donald Trump echoed a sentiment that has been shared among many bright people. That“Most people operate at “the feeling level”, rather than “the thinking level”, even if they are good thinkers.” It’s not how you feel about the subject that matters. It’s what you think. .
Also, when you are listening, don’t give any clues that you are ready to respond. Don’t point your finger and don’t open your mouth. When I talk to people and I see that they are waiting on pins and needles to respond, I know they are no longer listening because they are more concerned with how they are going to respond than with listening to what I have to say
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